My grandfather was a career Army colonel, my dad served in Vietnam and I have spent my entire career as a psychiatrist treating veterans. When we celebrate Veterans Day in San Francisco with a parade on Sunday, Nov. 9, I will be there.
But how many of us treat Veterans Day as just another federal holiday? What does that tell us about our collective disconnect from the daily experiences of our service members? Is it any surprise that the streets of San Francisco are practically empty of spectators during the city’s annual Veterans Day parades? Can you imagine what it’s like to participate in a parade year after year, and no one shows up to cheer you on?
How many of us truly appreciate that this country is at war right now, and that halfway across the world our service members are in harm’s way? Try an experiment: Search your TV guide for shows that include the word “war” with the words “Iraq” or “Afghanistan.” What pops up? Absolutely nothing about real wars. But there are plenty of shows like “Cupcake Wars,” “Food Wars” and “Storage Wars.”
If you don’t know people who were significantly affected by war or military service, of course, it’s much easier to remain disconnected and harder for their experiences to seem real.
How about we try to make it a little more real?
According to government statistics, over 280,000 U.S. service members in the last 13 years of war in Iraq and Afghanistan have been diagnosed with significant head trauma, also known as traumatic brain injury. Over 1,500 have had battle injury limb amputations. In addition, over 110,000 have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, just in the last 13 years.
According to the Washington Post, 6,836 American men and women in uniform have been killed in those same wars. The vast majority of those who have died were between the ages of 18-29.
So how do we begin to appreciate the sacrifice of those men and women and those who have served before them?
A big part of the problem is that many people in the United States and in Israel have mixed feelings about what the military does. How can we not when lives are lost, including the lives of innocent civilian bystanders? But we must be careful, no matter how much we might disagree with a particular policy or war, not to blame the individual service member. Key point: Service member does not equal policymaker.
The majority of service members sign up because they want to serve their country. They are our sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, putting their lives in harm’s way to protect us.
What would happen if we added Veterans Day to our collective list of days of gratitude?
We know from a large number of studies that people who are more grateful are happier, less depressed, less stressed and more satisfied with life in general. A sense of gratitude is something that can be easily cultivated. For example, the act of writing down things that one is grateful for in a “gratitude journal” can have a profound effect on one’s well-being.
How can we live in a state of appreciation, acknowledging that the freedoms we live with have come at a great cost to many?
Consider the following:
• Make a donation to a deserving veterans service organization like the Jewish War Veterans, a local branch of the American Legion, Swords to Plowshares or Thank Israeli Soldiers.
• Don’t just say, “Thank you for your service,” but if you are a landlord, consider opening your door to a veteran who is seeking housing, and if you are an employer, consider hiring a vet.
• If you’re an attorney or a therapist, there are organizations that can help you connect with veterans who are in need of pro bono assistance.
• No matter what your background is, consider volunteering at a Veterans Affairs’ hospital or, at the very least, spreading the word that our local VAs are open for business and include topnotch primary and specialty care provided by UCSF and Stanford physicians.
• And finally, consider joining me at the San Francisco Veterans Day parade on Sunday, Nov. 9.
Let’s make this the beginning of a long season of Thanksgiving and show our vets what it means to be grateful.
Rob Daroff, M.D., has worked as a psychiatrist at the San Francisco VA Medical Center for the past 20 years and is a health sciences clinical professor in the UCSF Department of Psychiatry. At the age of 51, he is applying to serve as a physician in the Army Reserve.